hellooo hillary



It’s times like these you learn to love again.

August, where are you? I need you to come, I’m dying here.

Friday was f*&@!?#* miserable. I had a good day at school, peaceful and relazing. When it was over, I had to walk home and I was looking forward to it because it was a beautiful day. So I cranked up my itouch and listened to music as I walked around, going out of my way so I could stay outside longer. When I got home, Bear was home, which is odd seeing as how he’s normally in school. We just sat around and watched TV together for awhile and got along like normal. Then he started getting out of control (which I won’t get into) and I went to sit on our front porch to calm down. Then my auntie came outside to smoke. When we tried to get back inside, the door was locked. Since my god awful mother works the night shift, she was sleeping, being oblivious to everything that was going on. My aunt called her to get her to let us inside. No answer, typical. So basically we sat outside while the demon that took over my brother destroyed our house. When he finally let us inside, he was bleeding like crazy. He broke glass. All over. We tried to help him but he ran upstairs and told my mom that my aunt and I were being mean to him. She said “I told you not to go down there, they’re just a bunch of effing, screaming bleepers!” I screamed back. “Look who’s talking, Mom.” And stormed out of the house. I ended up at Sabrina’s door and stayed there practically all weekend, not speaking a word to my stupid mother. It’s Monday now, and she has yet to even look at me. Whatever, right?

Sabrina and I had a good weekend, one that made me forget my ignorant mom.We made these! The purple one was supposed to say ‘love’ but it didn’t work out as planned.

 When I eventually came home, my gram took me to see the movie, The Last Song. Hellooo love at first sight, and I’m not just talking about Liam Hemsworth. =] Miley wasn’t my favorite since I’m not a fan of her but Liam played my dream man, inside and out. I think I found my true love. =] It’s my new favorite movie, seriously. I cried like a baby.

What a hottieee. =D

Shall we back track and have a humorous moment? I think we shall…

Thursday night I got really thirsty at about 4 a.m. and went downstairs to get water. On my way back upstairs, someone came in my front door. I screamed and spilled my water. It was just my aunt! Then after she practically peed her pants from laughing so hard and after I tried to pull my heart out of my gut, I headed up the stairs to go back to sleep. When I got to the top of the steps, my Gram came out of her room and scared me again! We all laughed so hard! It was a silly night. =P

So today, Tuesday, I saw my senior class photo. Oh my goodness. I was so sickly thin. My face was so sunken in and my bones ahh I don’t wanna go there. 1. I don’t want to talk about it. 2. I don’t want to trigger anyone. I can tell that I’m healing because the first thought that came to my mind was “My god, I was FAR too thin back then.” I guess I just wasn’t meant to stay that way…

I’ve been losing a lot of friends lately, but when I think about it, I realize that maybe they weren’t really my friends. Maybe they were just merely people that weren’t good for me and I was meant to lose them. I’m trying to be positive about it, but it’s happened so much in the past 6 months, I feel like I’m doing something wrong. On the bright side, I’ve finally been realizing who my real friends are. There aren’t many, and I don’t need many. I’m not greedy when it comes to friendship, you can’t be. I’ve also met a guy that is super sweet and I’m glad that we became such good friends so fast. He is optimistic, inspiring and compassionate, which is exactly the kind of friend I want. Not to mention he’s pretty cute. =D I’m not going to hold myself back anymore. I’m breaking out of this shell.

“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future and accepts you just the way you are.”

 

 Last night, Wednesday, I got a call at 1:30 a.m. from my mother. Before I get into this story, I should probably tell you that, for whatever reason, we somehow just started being civil to each other again. Anyway, she called my crying and said that she was in the hospital and her face was messed up. I was terrified. I had no idea what to do, so I went downstairs and woke up my aunt and we left for the hospital. OMG. I never want to see my mom like that. Ever. Again. Sorry if I gross you out, but there was blood everywhere. Her hands, clothes, blankets, face, everything was covered in her blood. I know my mom and I don’t get along but I sure as hell would never have wished this upon her. Without too much detail, they had to stitch up her face and do plastic surgery to fix it…I left when they were putting the stitches in because I can’t handle that. Thankfully, she’s going to be okay, but I fear that this procedure is going to make her even more self conscious about herself. Just like we all are/were self conscious with our bodies, well my mother is like that with her face. And I fear that this is going to make her absolutely miserable, which in turn, makes me absolutely miserable…

On an awesome ending note, I’m already completely over Ryan. I thought it’d take me forever, but it didn’t and I’m so happy about it. The best part is, I already feel SO much better about everything, like my life, future and myself. I’m not saying that he made me miserable or anything because that’s not true. But I think it’s time for me to go out and have my flirty fun, which I’ve already started doing!  I loveee boys. Hehe. =D

Enjoy the weekend, kiddies!

Always,

hill ❤

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Comments

  1. love you baby. i’m so proud of you for recognizing the truth behind that sad face in your senior photo :[ you are so beautiful. and so so strong ❤

    | Reply Posted 7 years, 3 months ago


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